My grandmother, Virginia Alger was born in West Virginia. To most people, the previous statement is nothing more than a declarative sentence, but in my family it's scandalous. My grandmother is from a long line of Virginians, and it was only by happen chance that my grandmother was born outside of the beloved state. We're not supposed to talk about grandma's mishap.
I was born in Nebraska and am currently living in the state's capital, Lincoln.
Today at work, several of my co-workers were engaged in an argument about whether West Virginia is a Northern state or a Southern state. Everyone had an opinion and each opinion was attacked with scorn and sarcasm. I listened with amusement to all of their politically incorrect stereotypes before adding a log to the fire. First, I rebuked them for their unfounded logic since none of them had even been to West Virginia, and then I said, "only crazy people live in West Virginia, and I can say this because my grandmother was born there."
I knew my words were purely prejudice. I'd spoken them on purpose, but to my surprise, nobody challenged me. In fact, they seemed to take my words as truth so I quickly added, "well at least my grandmother's crazy, I'm not truly sure about the rest of the state." The conversation changed, but my thoughts continued analyzing what had taken place.
The only conclusion I could reach was, somehow I'd gained expert status by declaring I had a 'right' to make prejudice remarks, and I realized I've heard and allowed others to do the same thing in the past. We have to stop. No one has the 'right' to say something somebody else shouldn't say.
I don't usually comment on controversial matters, but the world has become so misguided. We have to stop labeling people. I can't think of a single reason reporters need to print 'white man kills black man' or 'hispanic woman arrested for DUI'. But if we want the world to stop labeling us, we need to stop labeling ourselves.
We all have handicaps we have to overcome. Whether they are physically, mentally, culturally or socially induced, we all have stereotypes stacked against us, but it is how we handle these obstacles that defines us. Our differences make us great and our challenges make us stronger.
Until we start viewing ourselves and each other as Americans first, we continue to allow a means by which prejudice can rip us apart. It starts with each one of us. We have to teach others how we are--not how we want to be viewed but how we
are.
When I was a younger woman I studied in the field of Archaeology. Several times I was faced with sexist remakes and placed in uncomfortable situations. I didn't blame the men who tried to belittle me, I took it as a challenge to change their minds, and with one exception, I believe I did. But change started with me. I knew I was capable of doing everything they could do. I learned how to handle and fend off sexual advances. I fought for equal pay and rights. Just like my grandmother, Virginia Alger, did before me. She raised four children without the help of a husband during a time when such things were not done. She was a divorcee born in West Virginia who work in factories where only men worked. Outcast from her family because she'd shamed their name but she didn't let them or anyone define her.
Grandma is crazy. She was made strong by her mishaps. I talk about her--all of her.