Happiness Is...

Recently, I found myself at the happiest place on earth - literally.  I’d spent months planning – pouring over every detail trying to make the event perfect but when the BIG moment arrived, instead of happiness, I was surrounded by complaining loved ones.  Shaking it off, I knew that if I believed hard enough, I could turn our day around and transform it into the euphoria we expected.  More complaints followed.  Granted, we’d squeezed through a gantlet of bad luck but the future was ours – ours for the experiencing – ours for the seizing of true happiness.  That’s when it rained – literally - and not just a gentle spring rain but a full unsought thunderstorm.  I was drenched.  We all were.  She looked up at me, her luminous eyes were round like a full moon as she said, “I hate this place.”

Her words stung.  I was angry.  I was hurt.  After all, this whole trip was for her.  I’d worked so hard to make her happy.  I knelt to her level and with quick angry words crushed her until her pain matched my own.  This was all for her - - - or was it?  Slowly, I began to understand.  I was trying to live through her and not with her.  It wasn’t her job to feel happy for me.  Happiness wasn’t an item to be package and given.  It comes from within, arrives at unexpected moments, and flees just as mysteriously.  Chasing after it is as pointless as trying to bottle the breeze.

Broken and wet, we stood next to each other wondering how to get beyond this place.  The rain quit, the crowds evacuated and finally, we found our magical moment.  As we watched the twinkling lights of the parade we embraced in the darkness.  Joy filled us from within and we were closer and stronger than before.  I’m still trying to understand all the lessons I learned that day – trying to help guide her through the confusion but one thing we gained was a mutual respect for each other and for our strength to navigate through the darkest of times.